Guatemala

Lake Atitlan with a volcano in the background!

After spending 29 days in Mexico it was sad but necessary to leave considering we were only granted a 30 day visa. We were leaving behind incredible waves, food and apparently about 15 pairs of my panties. As with everything in Mexico, there are positives and negatives to every situation. A classic example of this is the fact that you can get 2 loads of laundry done for the cheap price of $6, but unfortunately some pervert or an unfortunate young lady needed a few sexy pairs of thong underwear. Either way I was happy to donate a few of my undies to the less fortunate. I am now taking after my sister and going commando style (or airing out, as my mom likes to call it) in order to make it to the next laundry stop.

The "burb" pulled through during our last day in Mexico, ferociously plowing upstream at a 45 degree angle through a foot of running water during a torrential downpour. This was an example of classic Mexican infrastructure where the main road (in a city with frequent torrential downpour) is the steepest and least maintained. Chad was proud as he saw many other cars shamefully turn around to avoid a messy situation. I, on the other hand, was nervously clenching the "oh shit" handle which is now barely attached to the car. Needless to say we made it through the downpour and found a nice little hotel on our way out of town. On the topic of hotels, it is necessary to educate all of you on a little bit of Mexico hotel/motel information that we discovered after we had already failed the test. On day three of our adventure in Mexico, we discovered a little place called "Motel Cabanas Del Rey"
(Kevin you commented about seeing it on google earth), apparently this is what the Mexicans call a "Motel No Tell". As the name implies, this is basically a whorehouse or simply a place where a good Catholic takes his girlfriend so his wife, family and friends don't find out. The beauty of a "Motel No Tell" is that they have gated parking lots with individual parking spots. It gets even better, each of these parking spots has a huge curtain to hide your car because you wouldn't want your father-in-law (who is there with his girlfriend) to see your car there. As mentioned earlier, there are positives and negatives to everything in Mexico. In this situation, Chad and I thought we had scored an awesome place. A gated parking lot with a curtain to hide the burb and all our belongings, it couldn't get any better. I knew there was something weird about the place when I noticed the mirrors on the ceiling, ok not really but I definitely couldn't sleep that night because it had a creepy feel. About a week later when we were telling a fellow traveler about these
great motels with curtains to hide your vehicle, he hysterically informed us that we had stayed at a "Motel No Tell". Lovely!!! Chad got his whore experience for the mere price of 200 pesos or $20 which included 24 hours of porn on an older TV. Gotta love Mexico!

Following all travel recommendations we headed towards the Guatemalan border bright and early the next morning. Apparently we chose Market day to cross and of course the most logical place to put a market is on the main road leading to the border, right?!? There was about a mile stretch of street vendors selling everything from chickens to cowboy hats. The vendors were on both sides flowing into the street with mobs of people walking in the middle of the street/highway. You could barely fit one car down the street let alone the burb and a semi-truck on the other side. Somehow we managed to creep through at about 1 mile an hour only hitting 3 vendor booths nearly knocking them down. In the car in front of us was Neil, a 70 year old guy
from Washington in a 1979 20R Toyota Chinook camper. He apparently knocked someones taillight off in this horrendous process. The problem with Neil is that he speaks about as much Spanish as I do (which is none) and he can't hear. Lovely guy all the same and amazing that at 70 years old he is traveling with his awesome dog through Mexico and Central America. Chad helped him through the border crossing and Neil went on to pick up a hitch hiker and follow us to Lake Atitlan. As you can imagine, I wanted to hear Neil's life story. The guy is so fascinating that we spent a couple hours listening to his stories. While in sketchy Chiapas, Mexico he was held hostage by a village of people who were surrounding him with the ever famous machete's. After being rescued 7 hours later by a couple of police men he was informed that these people had never seen a white man and were very fearful of him. After treating him to dinner the cops told him to please leave the region because it was not safe for a white person to hang around these areas. Fascinating story, and all I was thinking the whole time was "thank God that didn't happen to Chad and I". FINALLY we met an adventurous American. Up to this point on our trip we had met 100 Canadians to every American. The general consensus is that Americans are too fearful to travel
outside of their comfort zone and would feel more comfortable just reading about other peoples travels from their office when they are supposed to be working, ha ha (so Chad and I are on a mission to change this stereotype and rally all of you guys at home to prove those Canadians wrong)!

There are three border crossings from Mexico into Guatemala that you can cross by car. We chose the Cuauhtemac crossing because we heard it was the most relaxed and it was closest to where we were in Mexico. Unfortunately this particular border does not have the proper vehicle exit paperwork needed to exit the Burb from the country. The car is allowed in the country for 6 month's so we decided to risk it and hope that the Burb does not get seized as Chad tries to re-enter Mexico in August (it's only going to be a couple weeks beyond the 6 month's so everything should be fine right???). Additionally, our anxiousness to enter Guatemala superseded our need to exit Mexico. As we were doing our Guatemala entry paperwork we were missing one important part, the exit paperwork from Mexico, OOPS! For the small fee of $10 the Guatemalans officials let it slide. Payoffs can be a fabulous thing! Guatemala was our cheapest border crossing, costing us a total of $22 including the $10 payoff fee. It only took about 2 hours and was nearly painless. Due to the fact that Chad's Spanish is world's better than mine and that he is the registered owner of the Burb, he took care of all the paperwork and Rhino and I took charge of watching and protecting the burb.

Once we made it through the border crossing we cruised towards Lake Atitlan through the beautiful mountainous countryside. It looked like it was straight out of National Geographic with the women and young girls dressed in brightly colored traditional Mayan garments sprinkled throughout the hills. It was almost as if they had been placed there for tourists to see, however it was about as real as you could get. We made it all the way to Lake Atitlan by the early evening. This tremendously large lake is surrounded by three huge volcanoes. We stayed in the little town of Panajachel and enjoyed a traditional Guatemalan dinner. Although the food was good, it did not compare to the meals we had in Mexico. I preferred the tortillas in Guatemala because they were a bit thicker than the Mexican ones, but other than that the food did not compare to Mexican cuisine.

After a lovely breakfast on the lake, we decided to head back towards the coast. The town of Panajachel had a good energy about it, but was very touristy. It would have been nice to explore some of the other lake towns but Chad was anxious to get back towards the coast. We drove some crazy roads through the countryside and ended up in Antigua for lunch. Antigua reminded me of a European city with cobblestone streets and a lot of Gringos. It is home to the cheapest Spanish language schools in the world and draws a tremendous amount of visitors each year. It is a beautiful city and definitely deserved a longer stay. We had an awesome lunch at one of the street vendors in the middle of town and headed on our way to the coastal town of Monterrico. Monterrico is technically an island due to the estuaries surrounding it. We were unaware of a bridge that led to the town so we ended up taking a ferry across the canal. What they call a car ferry would be considering barely a boat in the US. It consisted of some janky wood planks with a tiny 15 hp motor. It barely fit two cars with only about 6 inches on each side of the car. We were a bit nervous about the Burb sinking the ferry, but we trusted the locals and decided to drive on the "so called ferry". As we drove down the concrete bank towards the short wooden boards they used as a ramp to get on the "ferry", the "ferry" simply drifted away as soon as some of the weight of the Burb shifted onto it. The ramps slipped off the "ferry" and the front tires came skidding to a halt inches before the edge of the canal. Fear radiated from Chad's eyes and I knew we were in trouble. The two
Guatemalan men helping us were yelling at us to stop and yelling at each other for not tying the "ferry" down. Luckily due to the ever so popular Vitrek sponsored brake job we were able to stop just in time. We were a bit hesitant to try again, but we sucked it up and made it on the "ferry". The fun doesn't stop there. During our 30 minutes ride through the estuary another one of these "ferries" was broken down in the middle of the canal. Because a 15 hp wide open throttle in reverse will not stop a 15,000 pound ferry very quickly we proceeded to crash right into the other "ferry". Luckily there was no damage but it certainly added to our crazy ferry adventure. We made it safely to Monterrico just in time to see a beautiful sunset and some locals release a bunch of baby turtles into the surf. They were so cute!

The highlight of our stay in Monterrico was our new friends. They were a group of about 7 kids (ages 9-14) that were the local hotel experts. They jumped on the back of the burb and directed us where to stay. They were full of energy and completely entertaining. I can only imagine the ticket we would have gotten in the US if a cop saw if driving around town with 7 kids on the bumper hollering directions to us. We found a nice little hotel to stay at for the night and gave the boys a soccer ball for showing us around. They were ecstatic and were trying to use their excellent persuasion techniques to get us to give them a second ball. We sent them on their way and relaxed with a cold beer after the long day of driving. That evening we met a family from Guatemala City in the pool. They invited us to join them for dinner at a local restaurant. Using our limited Spanish and their limited English we
learned a lot about Guatemala and the politics of the country. They insisted on paying for our dinner, which was an incredibly kind gesture. After dinner I went to bed and Chad went to the disco with a couple of the Guatemalan guys. He said it was quite the experience watching all the Guatemalans dance to American music and wished I had been there.

This was the end of our short stay in Guatemala. This country deserves so much more time, but we were on a tight time-line and needed to move on. I would have loved to make it to Tikal, however it would have been an incredibly far drive out of the way so I guess I will have to save it for another trip!

Adios Guatemala!

Agua Azul

I had to change that last photo because it looked like Chad has been starving me, but unfortunately it was just the illusion of my long torso with protruding ribs, SICK :). Here is a better one to show that I don't just sit around all day!

Palenque

After countless hours of intense persuasion I was able to pull Chad away from the coast and towards the Mayan ruins of Palenque, Mexico. This was by far the most sketchy and politically unstable part of the journey to date. The state of Chiapas has been hesitant to comply with Capitalist Mexico for a number of years and we were able to personally experience a bit of this intensity. After driving for a few hours we reached a huge line of trucks and assumed that there was an accident ahead. After using our limited Spanish Chad was able to figure out that there was a massive road block. Apparently some of the local town people block the road randomly for hours because they feel that this road has ruined their town. Some of the truck drivers
signaled for us to go around all the trucks on an alternate 4-wheel drive necessary road. As you can imagine Chad jumped at this idea and proceeded to pass all the cars on the main road. Unfortunately Chad's eagerness and over confidence in the trusty "burb" got the best of him. As we were about to pass the end of the road block Chad attempted to plow over a huge log that was blocking the road. The rear differential got hung up on the log and we were forced to stop. About 40 Mexican men ran over to the car and were staring at us and the car. A couple of the guys were trying to be helpful while the other 35 guys just stared and laughed. After jacking up the burb and pulling the log out Chad gave the two guys that helped a cerveza and we were on our way. This was only the beginning of the crazy Mexican roadblocks and the constant verbal abuse from Chad for making him go to this sketchy area.

The next day we embarked on the remainder of the journey towards Palenque. During this drive Chad had a bit of a breakdown over the horrible roads and insisted that I "see what it is like". I have to admit that the curb sized topes every 50 feet are beyond frustrating. I became the slow driving Mexican that Chad hates, so as you can imagine within about 10 miles Chad insisted on taking over the wheel. Secretly I was appreciative, however I would never let Chad know this. During my brief time driving we experienced our second roadblock. This time there were about 40 men with a 2 by 6 wood plank with nails in it laid across the road. They wanted $20 in exchange for using "their" road. They concocted a story about a person in their town dying on this road so they needed money. We later found out that this is a ploy they use a couple days a week to get money from people. We were able to talk them down to $5 which was quite the deal considering other gringos we met paid anywhere from $10-$20. The remainder of the road consisted of ladies and their children holding strings across the road to attempt to stop traffic. They were selling things such as bananas, nuts and drinks and this was their attempt to get people to buy their goods. Clearly their idea was not as refined as the spike strip gentlemen, however we bought some bananas so we could show the rest of the roadblock ladies that we already had ample supply (probably the best bananas we have ever had might I add). We finally arrived at the incredible jungles of Palenque at about 10:00 pm which was quite the relief after the crazy day of driving.

We stayed in a log cabin in the middle of the jungle and were awoken by the incredibly load sounds of the howler monkeys. The sound was so intense that I was convinced that there was a lion outside of the cabin. Chad assured me that it was just a monkey and after speaking with a local he assured me that Chad was correct. We spent the day exploring the incredible Mayan ruins which made the crazy car journey worth it. These huge structures were built about 2000 years ago and are still intact. Pretty unbelievable!!! We climbed to the top of some of the pyramids which was somewhat scary and exhausting. I can only imagine what it would have been like to actually build all these structures carrying a few stones up at a time. We walked around the ruins with a few English guys that are traveling the world together. Meeting these so called "normal" guys was a nice change after all the interesting characters we have been meeting along the way. Later that evening Chad insisted on going into town to fulfill his shopping urges. He spent 2 hours (NO
JOKE) shopping for boots. I told him that he is clearly with the wrong girl because his shopping skills were way better than mine. He ended up with some awesome crocodile skin boots and was happier than a little boy in a candy store. For those of you coming to visit you better start preparing yourself now for Chad's new look!

Day 28 was our last full day in Mexico. We spent half the day at Agua Azul which is a limestone river with a bunch of waterfalls and swimming holes. As the name implies, this was the most incredible colored water I have ever seen. For those of you that have seen the water in Switzerland, this is the same thing but in the jungle. Although the place was a bit touristy we were able to get away from the crowds by hiking to the top of the highest waterfall. There were two rope swings at the top which dropped you into a deep aquamarine swimming hole. It was absolutely picturesque! The day got even better when I was mistaken for a model. Ok, that's a bit of a lie, but a 60 year old man asked if he could take a picture with me in my bathing suit. His wife took the picture and Chad stood off to the side laughing. Chad is now convinced this happens to me all the time :). Who cares that he was sixty, right?

Mexico

Puerto Escondido

Chad surfing the "Mexican Pipeline"


The guide books promised world class barrels for Chad and world class food for me. Although Mexico has provided us with some incredibly phenomenal food, I was suckered into eating something the previous day that continues to make me tremble and gag. One of our infamous stops at a roadside taco stand was the culprit to this horrendous scene. After I bit into my second taco I noticed some little white bumps on one of the pieces of meat, and after closer inspection I realized this was not carne. Chad immediately realized what we were eating and refused to tell me. After a little research into what lengua was I realized it was cow tongue, gag!!! Although the taste was not too horrible the texture continues to give me nightmares :). As you can imagine, Chad had a lot of fun reminding me of this saying, "hey babe look" and proceeding to bite his tongue to spark the memories. Sick, but I survived!

Thankfully, Puerto Escondido had some of the most amazing food and I was able to clear my thoughts of the lengua for a few days. In desperate need of burning all the calories we have been consuming, I challenged Chad to a game of beer and horseshoes (we decided that it is a sin to play horseshoes without a beer in your hand). We were quite the spectacles on the beach with locals stopping and trying to figure out what we were playing. I think we have started a trend and there may be a huge market for horseshoes in Mexico now :). During the warm-up game Chad won, however during the serious competition I was able to pull off a six-pack/double ringer in the end to win it. Needless to say I was jumping around and screaming as Chad shamefully grabbed his surfboard to show me up in the surf.

Puerto Escondido is know for heavy barrels and it was quite the scene to watch all the kooks from around the world getting hammered in the waves. Thankfully the waves were only a bit overhead so Chad was able to hold his own. Due to my horseshoe win I got a bit cocky and decided to challenge Chad to a sprinting match. I have always told him that I would own him in a sprinting competition so this was a big match. After some intense stretching and crap talking we raced. Lets just say that he thinks he won and I thought I won. So we went for a second round and about half-way towards the finish line Rhino cut me off taking the first place title. That darn dog keeps showing me up...talk about humiliating! There will be more sprinting match's to come to determine the champion between Chad and I, not Rhino. This means that at least I am faster than the "dude" (Kyle Hesley, sorry dude)!

My hypochondriac side was in full effect following this crazy day of activities. I experienced intense flu-like symptoms and was completely bed-ridden with crazy aches that I had never felt in my life. After a bit of travel sickness research, I convinced Chad that I was suffering from dengue fever. Due to my fear of needles and especially Mexican clinic needles I decided to tough it out and avoid the doctor. Within about 2 days I felt way better and have been perfect ever since. Chad is convinced I was just sore from our sprinting and horseshoe throwing the day before and if that's the case then I am pathetic. I prefer to tell people that I had dengue fever because it makes me look like a hard core traveler, not an out of shape hypochondriac!

In addition to world class food and waves, Puerto Escondido has world class "dog in heat" fights. One of the most disturbing scenes we have witnessed this whole trip involved one poor dog in heat and a pack of about 20 dogs chasing her. In the process there is always one dog that looks like he is protecting her while getting in gnarly fights to keep her to himself. This dog eventually gets tired and another one takes over. Within this pack of dogs there were some nasty fights and horrible bloody wounds. We were able to protect the female dog for about an hour while we were eating. She slept under our dinner table while all the males paced around the street in front of the restaurant. It was incredibly sad, "please remember to always spay and neuter your pets" (Bob Barker, 1968-2004).

Upon leaving Puerto Escondido we said our goodbyes to the English group we met in La Ticla and again in Puerto Escondido as well as Mark and Rachael, the San Diego couple we enjoyed mohitos with a few days before. We headed south with a brief stop at Zipolite, the only nude beach in Mexico. Sadly, Chads conservative side took over and he would not allow me to strip down and join the 70 year old gringos on the beach. Bummer, maybe next time! From here we headed to "La Jolla" Chad's secret surf spot. Chad will not allow me to post the real name of the surf break because he doesn't want the secret to get out. As the busload of about 20 surfer's pulled up to the break I told Chad it is clearly not much of a secret. Needless to say he had some awesome rides at this perfect little right point break. I figured it was time to move on after stumbling upon a creepy machete toting man on my mile long walk to the beach with Rhino. He asked me in Spanish if Rhino bites and I struggled with whether to say yes or no. I figured if I said yes he will kill Rhino and if I said no he will kill me, so my liberal animal loving side prevailed and I said no. In case you are scared we survived and the man clearly just wanted to make sure that our incredibly fierce looking dog was not going to bite him. For those of you that don't know, carrying a machete in Mexico is fairly common. This is something I don't think I can ever get used to, however when Chad equated it to people in the US that carry guns all the time I immediately decided that I preferred Machete´s. Regardless, it is scary and not something you want to stumble upon when you are alone in a jungle.

It was time to pull Chad, kicking and screaming, away from the coast towards the Mayan ruins...more fun to come!

Chacahua

30 Miles down a dirt road we came to a little fishing village called Chacahua. We had almost made it but the Chacahua where we wanted to be was on the other side of the estero. In Mexico everything has the same name. We were able to park the Burb at Maria's house and we hired a panga to take us to across the estero. On the other side were a few Cabanas, reasturunts and a 150 yard sand point. The waves were head high with only 3-4 guys out. We made some new Swedish friends and had a great time. This place is highly recomended by REC. Next Stop Puerto Escondido "The Mexican Pipeline"

Nexpa

Chad and Rhino enjoying our newly purchased hammock on the porch of our amazing two-story bungalow in Rio Nexpa!


Nexpa was a bit interesting with massive pot holes and ravines. We were amazed at how some of those little dumpy cars could make it in and out of town. Chads neanderthal ways were in full effect during our three day stay in Nexpa. He never ceases to impress me with his incredible fishing skills. When the surf blows out he switches gears heads out with his spear gun or fishing pole. Within minutes out to the surf with his rod and reel in hand he came back with a nice little 4 pound Jack Crevalli, quite the battle in the surf with 8lb test. The awesome New Zealand family staying in the bungalow next to us were envious of the catch. They informed us that this particular fish can taste a bit strong if it is not prepared correctly. Needless to say Chad used his culinary expertise and prepared an incredible fish taco feast while I sat back and enjoyed the sunset with a trusty cerveza in hand.

After days of watching Chad surf, Chad decided it was time for me to get on my lovely foam surf board. After a bit of Resistance I agreed to get off my butt and put some of my newly acquired surf knowledge into effect. Rhino joined us out in the waves and embarrassingly caught more waves than I did. As soon as I saw Rhino riding the long board to shore and I had not caught one wave I decided that surfing is not my forte. Annoyed I paddled in and decided that I deserved a cerveza after all that hard work :). I was a bit annoyed and embarrassed at the fact that a dog showed me up in the surf, ugh! Oh well, there's always tomorrow. To all you surfers out there I am envious of your skills because it looks way easier from the shore.

After three days it was difficult to leave Nexpa. We had the perfect set-up in a two story bungalow right on the sand with incredible views and food. Another day in the burb was not too appealing, however if we ever want to make it to Costa Rica we need to continue south. We said our good byes to the Kiwis and the incredible world traveler, Mark. I will buy a beer for the first person to guess the nationality of Mark. It shouldn't be that difficult considering we have met about 200 of them for ever one American so far on this trip. During this stay Chad added, a few things to his list of things to do and buy in his life:

1. Buy a sailboat and sail around the world
2. Learn to kite board
3. Solidified his desire to ride a motorcycle through baja and mainland Mexico
4. Buy a new VW bug from Mexico and sneak it into the US
5. Build a Palapa in his non-existent house
6. Build a Fanta Naranja factory in order to afford his addiction
7. Buy a Sports Mobile (4 wheel drive Van)
And the list goes on...

Erin's List:
1. Open a torillarilla in order to sustain my obsession with fresh corn tortillas!!!